Director’s Commentary
by Alexander Conrads
When I broke up with my girlfriend in late 2020 after nearly five years together, we were both short on cash, and neither of us felt like going through the stressful process of looking for a new apartment. On top of that, we were in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, which would have made the search even more difficult. So we decided to stay in our shared apartment for the time being. What happened next surprised both of us: While we’d been arguing constantly in the months leading up to the breakup, we suddenly got along really well. The realization that neither of us had ever intentionally wanted to hurt the other—but that we simply weren’t working as a couple (anymore)—broke a knot that had been tightening more and more over the previous years.
Things went well as long as we avoided thinking or talking about the future. For quite a while, we didn’t realize that continuing to live together was preventing us from truly moving on from the relationship. Just like my two protagonists, Sophie and Jojo, who are also living in such a relationship vacuum and turning a blind eye to the fact that their current way of dealing with the situation isn’t a long-term solution. But because both of them, in their mid-30s, still haven’t really grown up and their lives are marked by uncertainty, they cling to what they know—each other.
Many young people today are faced with uncertain prospects for the future. Whether it’s due to wars, the climate crisis, or the prospect of having to work until at least age 70—it’s hard to view current developments in a positive light. Whether at work, in relationships, or in friendships, many people find it hard to let go. Me too.
“together apart.” uses humor, heart, and quick, pointed dialogue to explore the difficult realization that life isn’t a wish list, that fear of the new doesn’t protect us from change, and that we have to bite the bullet every now and then in order to grow as people. We follow two people in their everyday lives who have actually realized that they no longer belong together but still can’t bring themselves to make the break. Over the course of the film, they grow as people without ever reaching a final destination in their development or solving all their problems. And despite (or perhaps because of) their rough edges, we’ve grown to love them by the end of the film.